Super Bowl Chili Recipe.

It's been a tradition with me for about 15 years now to make a fairly mammoth pot of chili on Super Bowl Sunday. The recipe has evolved over time, but over the past six years or so it's remained fairly consistent as I have refined the formula into a finished state of pure deliciousness. Now, since I'm not some smug culinary snotty-pants who would not deign to reveal my innermost kitchen secrets to the rest of you, I hereby present the recipe. (Note: This sum'a'gun takes a LONG time to do right, so make sure you get an early jump on the day. Since a bunch of people like making Super Bowl chili, I also recommend doing your shopping a day or two beforehand, just to be sure you get good ingredients before they get picked over.)

Anyway, dig it:

To make this glorious concoction, you will need the following ...

1 huge pot/saucepan. I mean, like, cauldron-sized, to the point that the witches from Macbeth would hypothetically be totally fine using it to screw up the lives of Thanes and Kings and other Scottish noblefolk.

1 equally-massive-in-scale skillet/frying pan/wok.

1/4 cup olive oil.
2.5-3 lbs ground beef. (not too lean, you need a little fat to aid the cooking process.)
2 green bell peppers, diced.
1 yellow bell pepper, diced.
1 red bell pepper, diced.
8 jalapeno peppers, chopped.
1 habanero pepper, finely diced.
4 medium cans tomato paste (unseasoned).
2 large cans fire-roasted tomatoes (drained).
3 cans black beans (drained).
1 can chickpeas (drained).
6 cloves finely-chopped garlic.
1 Vidalia onion, diced.
3 good-sized bundles green onions, chopped.
1 good-sized bundle cilantro, chopped.
1 bottle Cholula Original Hot Sauce. (The stuff with the round wooden cap. If you can't find this, Texas Pete's is a suitable replacement.)
3 tablespoons chili powder.
1 tablespoon cumin.
1 bottle of honey.
2 shots Jim Beam.
1 bottle of Corona.
1 sixpack beer of your choice (to be consumed while cooking.)

Empty tomato paste into the saucepan.
Add one can of water for each can of paste.
Add beans and chickpeas.
Add chili powder, cumin, a healthy glut of Cholula, and 1/2 the bottle of Corona.
Stir it up, and let simmer on low.

Coat the skillet with olive oil. Add beef, vidalia onion, tomatoes, garlic, peppers, cilantro, and 2/3 of the chopped green onions (save the other 3rd for use as garnish). Add the 2 shots of Beam and the other 1/2 of the Corona. Dash on a semi-generous helping of the Cholula. Fry it up, stirring constantly, until the beef is nicely browned.

Add the contents of the skillet into the saucepan. Stir vigorously. Simmer on medium for 10 minutes. Add 1/3 to 1/2 of the bottle of honey. Stir in. Reduce heat to low and let simmer for 5-6 hours. Taste every 10 minutes, adding additional Cholula, chili powder, and honey to achieve an ideal blend of face-melting spicy awesomeness and sweet, full flavor on the back end.

Garnishes:
As mentioned, the remaining 1/3 of the green onions.
Shredded cheddar cheese.
Sour Cream.

Optional (but freaking delicious): Corn Bread.

3 eggs.
1 can creamed corn.
1 cup sugar.
1 cup butter.
1 cup cornmeal.
1 cup flour.
1 cup buttermilk.
1.5 tsp salt.
8-10 strips of bacon.

Preheat oven to 375.

Melt butter, pour into mixing bowl. Stir in sugar, salt, and eggs first. Add buttermilk and stir in.
Add everything else EXCEPT the bacon. Stir until an even consistency is achieved.

Grease a decent-sized baking pan, and pour mixture in, making sure it's evenly distributed.

Place the bacon strips on top of the mixture so that they cover it like a pie crust.

Stick that bad boy in the oven for 45 minutes (give or take depending on how your oven distributes heat. NOTE: make sure the mixture doesn't wobble like jello when you take it out! IF it does, back in the oven for 5-minute intervals until it's done.) Once it seems to hold solidly, let cool for 3-5 minutes, cut into squares, and serve.

Happy Super Bowl, folks. Enjoy!