Thursday, February 16, 2012

Notes From Sick Bay.

You'll pardon the lack of coherent prose, but I'm suffering from a bout of insomnia and a vicious cold, so we're just going with random thoughts regarding a loose array of junk today. I have some fun posts in the mental pipeline as soon as my brain is un-stuffed-up again to function properly, but it's just going to have to wait, because right now I feel like a late-game Joe Johnson possession; isolated, motionless, clogged, and fairly ineffective. Let's get this sorry mess over with so I can eat a big ol' bowl of soup, down some Nyquil, and hopefully get some sleep.

The Falcons are on a staff turnover roll.

Did we have it better than we thought? That's the only reasonable explanation I can think of. Somewhere, somehow, we must have misread, glossed over, or just been plain ignorant of some football-related elements in the ATL. Because nothing else makes any real sense. If you haven't been paying close attention to the Atlanta Falcons since that debacle of a playoff exit, let me bring you up to speed on the major non-player-related offseason developments thusfar:

1. Former offensive coordinator Mike Mularkey is now the head coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars.

2. Former defensive coordinator Brian VanGorder is now the DC at Auburn.

3. The Falcons recently had to deny the Jags' requests to pilfer receivers coach Terry Robiskie.

4. Former director of player personnel Les Snead has been hired as the St. Louis Rams' GM.

Now, can anyone out there explain why a team that has yet to win a single playoff game in its most recent iteration is having its the vast majority staff lured away by other organizations? What the heck, NFL? What is your major malfunction? Here's hoping Dirk Cutter and Mike Nolan can do better.

One more Jeremy Lin pun.

Jeremy Lin and his whole story is fantastic, but I'm sure you're all pretty tired of the endless parade of puns involving his name. That being said, I have yet to see anyone bring this one up in the cavalcade of Lin-based cleverness: The Lindustrial Revolution. Right? ... never mind.

Tiger Woods is done.

At least in terms if winning the most majors ever or ever again provoking abject terror in his opponents. Lefty played the round of his life on Sunday, but it was Tiger's for the taking and he just came apart down the stretch. Again. I'm not saying he'll never win again at Augusta or Saint Andrews, but I think as a "best in the world" guy, he's not in that class anymore. (Please feel free to bring this paragraph up in two years when he's draining 25-footers on the back nine in the Sunday round of a major and everything I just wrote seems completely foolish.)

Speaking of humble pie ...

Remember The Alamo.

After the Spurs got eliminated from the playoffs last year by a Memphis team running on young legs and sheer exuberance and missing their best player, almost everyone (including me) figured that the days of Duncan/Parker/Ginobli/Pop as the nucleus of a serious contender in a suddenly young, loaded Western Conference were essentially finished. Somehow, despite a lot of ancient bodies being forced to grind through the season from hell, San Antonio has the 2nd best record in the West and the 4th best in the league. They've won 9 straight and have a .700 winning percentage. WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?!?


Pitchers and catchers report to Braves spring training on the 19th. Word on the street is Jason Heyward got himself into superb shape and fixed that bizarre hitch that snuck into his swing last year. Also very excited for shortstop phenom Tyler Pastornicky's debut. He's basically all we have at the position on the roster, so kid better stay healthy. Apprehensive about the damage that may have been done to our young bullpen's arms last year, but hopefully those absurd innings counts didn't have too detrimental an effect. Woohoo, Baseball!!!

OK, seriosly. Soup and bed for me. That is all. Be well, people.

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