Notes From Carmichael 1.6

Photo by Agatha Donkar @brandnewkindof

Hold on ... *several deep breaths* ... *loooong sip of beer* ... *more deep breaths* ... 

OK, we can talk about that one now.

Tonight's game against Syracuse was a careening hootenanny and maybe the most fun I've ever had in Carmichael.  The Orange came in fresh off a 36-point stomping of #12 Duke, and everyone in the arena was terrified that they might stage an encore performance in Chapel Hill.  For most of the first half, those fears appeared to be well founded.  'Cuse raced out to a 10-0 lead in the first two minutes, powered by some excellent offensive movement and a murderous and unrelenting press.  That stifling defense threw Carolina utterly out of sorts.  There was a flurry of turnovers, a rash of bad decisions, and a sense of rhythm so poor it'd make my father blush.  (Hi, Dad.)

The Heels eventually settled and started breaking that press a little more fluidly.  They got some jumpers to fall and started finding each other with smart passes inside for points at the rim.  Stephanie Watts uncorked a barrage of shots and assists that juuust kept UNC from going off the rails.  Slowly, doggedly, they nudged themselves to within hailing distance.  Syracuse lead 24-19 at the end of the first quarter, though it felt like it shouldn't have been that close.  Carolina had too many turnovers and got murdered on the glass; how were they only down five?  In the second quarter, the deficit fluctuated like a stock price based upon two market trends: hilariously disparate shooting percentages, and the efficacy of that press.  It widened to twelve and shrunk back to six at the half, hitting seemingly every numerical point in between.   The Heels were within arm's length, but Syracuse has some very tall, very wiry players, and those are some long damn arms.

The third quarter opened much like the first.  It took Carolina nearly two minutes to score as they were once again beset by the hellish press.  (Syracuse has a preposterously deep bench, which meant they could keep throwing fresh legs out there to maintain the pressure.  This would be rough on any opponent, but particularly so on the Heels' short rotation.)  And yet, Carolina simply refused to go away.  Destinee Walker carried us through the middle of the third with some dazzling forays to the rim and a nice assist on a Steph trey.  Finally, Syracuse ran out of gas and stopped running the press.  With the court opened up, the Heels got some spring back in their collective step and started to look dialed in for the first time all night.  It was 58-52 'Cuse at the end of the quarter.

And good lord, what a barn burner the 4th wound up being; everybody just doin' work, y'all.  Steph sunk a layup to cut the Orange lead to four, and Syracuse missed the potential answering shot.  The dynamics of the game were finally tilting in Carolina's favor, and the crowd's internal dial was moving towards turnt.  As she has been all season, Jamie Cherry was the engine down the stretch.  She snagged a rebound, then drew a foul and canned both freebies.  58-56.  A few traded baskets, then Steph grabbed a board and fed Des for a layup to tie the game at 62.  Carmichael absolutely exploded.  This game had felt so impossible since the opening tip; somehow the ladies had fought back to even and they were all swagger and focus now.  Syracuse pushed their lead back to three; Jamie sank two more at the stripe.  Finally, Des took it to the rack to give the Heels their first lead at 66-65 with four minutes left.  Both teams played some chaotic but inspired basketball for a stretch and wound up tied at 69.  Then, with 1:40 to play, Jamie buried a jumper to give us the lead for good. She dished to Hillary Summers to widen the lead to four, then sank two more free throws to keep it there.  A late jumper from Syracuse's Alexis Peterson cut it back to two, but with too little left on the clock.  Steph iced the thing down with a pair from the line to cement the final: 77-73 Carolina.  This was an insane, nerve-wracking jangle of a game, but absolutely worth it for that beautiful finish.

Other Observations:

1. There's a lady somewhere in our section who screams "GET OFF THE COURT, COACH!!!" or some variation thereon every time an opposing coach dares set foot outside of the blue sideline box in Carmichael.  Every time.  At peak volume.  I am convinced that the only thing this person knows about basketball is that coaches are not allowed to be on the court during play, and it gets very annoying to hear her devout adherence to that rule signified very loudly several times a game.  That said, I was completely on her side tonight.  Look, I'm sure Syracuse coach Quentin Hillsman is a perfectly nice human, but dude was on the floor virtually the entire game.  Very visibly and obviously in a way that should've gotten him T'd up or at least a stern warning from the refs.  Like, if you brought him out a Barcalounger and set it on the court, he'd be perfectly content to kick back and bark play calls and rotations at his team and never move even if he were actually disrupting the game play.  Sir, please keep your ass off the court when the ball is live.

2. ACC officiating is terrible.  This was the second game in a row, and the fourth this season, where way too many stupid, awful calls have gone against both teams at Carmichael.  Seriously, y'all can do better than this.

3. Whoever was running the P.A. tonight clearly thought it was my junior prom all over again.  Heard over the course of the game: "Tubthumping", "Mambo Number Five", and "Macarena."  The latter was responsible for the funniest thing I saw all evening.  The track played during half time, and there were a few Carolina cheerleaders over by the bleachers gamely trying to suss out the correct order of the choreography of that stupid dance.  Please keep in mind, "Macarena" was released in 1993, meaning the kids attempting those dance moves were maybe not born and definitely not potty trained when it was popular.  Why is this a phenomenon that has insidiously found its way to a younger generation?  We have failed as a species, that's why.

4. Steph was your player of the game.  22 points, 8 assists, 10 rebounds, and a block.  Get it, girl.

Next up: Saturday @ #3 Notre Dame.  Go Heels.   

Notes From Carmichael 1.4

Photo by Agatha Donkar @brandnewkindof

This game was like looking at the aftermath of a horrific train wreck and realizing that whatever the box cars were carrying is seeping into the water table and will probably do all sorts of terrible things to the local flora and fauna.  Glancing at the box score, you might think it was a physical, defense-heavy affair.  You might think both teams were magnificently active on the boards, that they spent the afternoon grinding and boxing out and rotating crisply and contesting shots well.  You might think those things.  But oh, you would be mistaken.  Because this thing was composed of 1 part competent basketball and 87 parts garbage from all parties involved. 

Garbage defense.  Garbage transition game.  Garbage officiating.  And absolutely G A R B A G E shooting.  All those rebounds were simply a byproduct of the coterie of clangs and airballs that plagued Carolina (and Appalachian State, too) all game long.  I mean, the Heels' shot chart is just oceans of nothingness perforated by tiny pinpricks of Destinee Walker treys and one small bright cluster in the paint.  If they hadn't been able to finish at the rim and hadn't gone to the stripe a whopping 32 times, they would have put up maybe 40 points on the day.  Maybe. 

There were flashes of hope amid the disaster.  Hillary Summers showed off some nifty offense we hadn't seen before, and Stephanie Watts looked excellent handling the ball when Sylvia put a bigger lineup on the floor.  Both came up huge defensively with a combined eighteen boards and seven blocks.  Xylina McDaniel added three rejections of her own to go along with 5 points, 4 dimes, and 2 steals, further proof that she's getting her game back.  Jamie Cherry poured in twenty points, though she still looks a little off since the broken nose.  Des put up a 17-4-3 line with 4 steals to boot.  It all looks very nice on paper.

In real time, it was a disjointed effort full of baffling mistakes and shots that refused to fall.  The whole thing was ugly and sluggish and physical in all the wrong ways.  A 23-14 turnover-to-assist ratio is all you need to know about how things played out.  It was not good or joyful or pleasant to watch in any way.  I'm glad it's over and we can move on.

Carolina won, by the way.  Go Heels.  

Scattershot, Sunday Edition: Desultory Musings From Around College Football

I'm uncorking a new feature here at Arena Apothecary called "Scattershot."  As often as possible, I'll present a varied, wide-ranging list of thoughts and opinions whenever a big day happens in a given sport.  (No promises, but I'll try to get one up every Sunday for college ball, every Tuesday for the NFL, and any morning after a big night of MLB or NBA action.)  This is the inaugural edition.  Enjoy.  

Well, No One Saw THAT Coming ... Except All Of Us.  

There were a lot of whuppin's put on inferior competition by the big boys this weekend, but one in particular stands out.  Alabama's 52-0 deconstruction of Arkansas wasn't exactly unexpected, it was just a grim spectacle and a letdown.  Before the season, everyone had this circled as a pivotal game, Arkansas being the only team in the SEC West remotely capable of upending the 'Bama/LSU power dyad.  The Hogs were ranked #8 in the polls heading into last week's ostensible gimme game against Louisiana-Monroe, setting up what should have been a top-10 match-up yesterday.  Then Tyler Wilson suffered a serious concussion, the Razorbacks faltered, and the Warhawks pulled off a stunner victory in OT that sent Arkansas tumbling all the way out of the AP Top 25.  (By the way, anybody with LA-Monroe on their schedule for the remainder of the year probably shouldn't sleep on them, as they nearly replicated last week's upset yesterday against Auburn.)  With Wilson still not medically cleared to play and Arkansas still reeling from Bobby Petrino's sudden and ignominious departure, the Hogs went from the role of darkhorse SEC contender to potential spoiler to chaff for Nick Saban's grist mill in record time.  Barring something truly outlandish, the Tide will roll unchecked right into November 3rd's showdown with LSU, where once again the SEC West Champion will be crowned. 

Resurgence.  

A hearty and heartfelt "welcome back!" to FSU and Notre Dame.  As someone who grew up in an era when the 'Noles were a dominant force and the annual Florida-FSU battle often carried National Championship implications, I am of the opinion that football is more enjoyable when FSU is good.  And so it warms my heart to see the team from Tallahassee prominently ranked in the polls again.  Granted, their schedule has been front-loaded with the squishiest baking tray full of cupcakes imaginable (Murray State, Savannah State, and Wake Forest), but they've done exactly what a dominant team is supposed to do, outscoring their opponents 176 to 3.

As for the Irish, it looks like this may finally be the year when all the predictably grating "is Notre Dame back this season?" chatter is answered in the affirmative.  Brian Kelly's team strolled into East Lansing and put a 20-3 beatdown on #10 Michigan State yesterday to stay undefeated on the year.  The Irish do have some formidable challenges left on their schedule, but they appear up to the task, playing with a poise and balance heretofore absent in recent memory.  If Notre Dame is still going strong when they meet the fifth-ranked Sooners on October 27 (quite possible), I'll be ready to buy in.  As with FSU, college football is better when the Irish are legitimately in the discussion.

Let's Talk About USC.     

In case you're utterly oblivious, Standford pulled off the upset of the week, defeating the vaunted USC Trojans 21-14.  Here in Atlanta, one of the personalities on AM 680's "Rude Awakening" morning sports show is a fellow named Perry Laurentino.  Perry is a Steelers fan from Scarsdale, NY (read: band-wagoning douche with no sense of geographical loyalty) and a proud USC alum (read: insufferable douche with no sense of reality.)  He is also among the most sanctimonious and enervating people ever to blemish the airwaves, and as far as I can tell he knows nothing whatsoever about sports.  Basically, he's Colin Cowherd with a Bronx accent but (mercifully) without the national exposure.  Anyway, since right around July, which is when we start discussing the upcoming college football season in Georgia, Perry has trumpeted two semi-related proclamations at every available opportunity: that USC will end the SEC's run of consecutive crystal footballs this season, and that pretty much everyone in the rest of the country will be overjoyed by this development.  As to the former, the Trojans spent last night getting manhandled in the trenches on both sides of the ball by freaking Stanford.  (They are now ranked #13 nationally and sit at the bottom of the Pac-12 South.)  Care to hazard a guess how they'd fare against LSU or even Georgia?  Regarding the latter, it's been my experience that much of the rest of the country doesn't care all that much about the SEC dominating college football.  Oh, I'm sorry, does "rest of the country" translate into "the Pac-12 plus Boise State" in your vocabulary?  In that case, and only that case, you're correct.  But you don't hear Texas or Ohio State bitching about SEC bias.  They know the way to assert themselves is to go out and win games, and they don't sit around whining about the rankings otherwise.

(Programming note for David Dickey and the 680 brass: I deeply enjoy listening to Rude, Sandra, Leo, and B-Finn.  Please stop ruining my morning commute and get this a-hole off the air.  Thanks.)

California Love.


Don't look now, but there's another team in Los Angeles, and they're playing damned good football so far.  UCLA is 3-0, including a win over (#16 at the time) Nebraska in week 2 that vaulted them into the AP Top 25.  They're fifth in the country in rushing, and they've outscored opponents by an average of 20 points per game this year.  No, I don't think the Bruins are serious contenders, maybe not even in the Pac-12, but they look a far cry from the 6-8 doormat we watched last season.  Keep an eye on Jim Mora's squad, your best bet for a conference darkhorse/spoiler out west. 


Coming To A Conference Near You.

Like Nuke LaLoosh, Pitt apparently wanted to announce their presence with authority.  (Albeit more successfully than ol' Nuke.)  In a preview of their move to the ACC in 2013, the Panthers lowered the boom on perennial conference power Virgina Tech, bludgeoning the Hokies 35-17.  Frank Beamer's traditional calling card of tight defensive execution was simply not in evidence, as Pitt QB Tino Sunseri threw for 283 yards and 3 TDs, and the ground game added 254 yards and 2 more scores for good measure.  Pitt's defense, too, looked fairly stifling, chalked full of energy and aggression.  Paul Chryst's stint as the Panthers' head coach was off to an abysmal 0-2 start, but if yesterday's display was any indication, the ACC will have a serious new contender in the Coastal Division next year.   

Peach State Problems.

Though both Georgia and Georgia Tech won their games yesterday, they have to be just a tad worried on the defensive side of the ball going forward.  The 'Dawgs and 'Jackets coughed up 20 apiece to Florida Atlantic and Virginia, respectively.  Allowing clearly inferior teams such a generous helping of points may not have posed any real danger this week, but it could potentially be disastrous when they run into real competition.  On October 6, UGA will clash with South Carolina and Tech will meet Clemson, both on the road.  If they don't get their defensive houses in order, it will make those already-heavy games very difficult to win indeed.  (Yes, I know Georgia was missing several key defensive starters that they should have back by then, but even the second stringers shouldn't have let the lowly Owls hang twenty on 'em.)

It Didn't Matter, But ...

For a game with absolutely no implications for anyone outside of the schools involved, one of the most compelling and entertaining contests of the weekend came via a shootout twixt a pair of basketball powerhouses.  Just watch these highlights from UNC vs. Louisville, it's good stuff:

Bring It On Home To Me.



West Virginia is 2nd in the nation is passing yards per game (386) and fourth in points (55.5).  Sure, the defense is suspect, but with their relatively navigable schedule and a few (monstrously lucky) breaks, they could be right in the mix come December.  Just something to keep in mind.  P.S. - scheduling people, can we get these guys to play Oregon sometime soon?  Just think of the joy inherent in watching those two offenses trade punches.  Get back to me.

Enjoy the NFL games, and I'll hopefully see you Tuesday.  Thanks for reading. 

Not Far Enough: College Playoffs Redux

So we finally got what we wanted.  We pissed and moaned, kicked and screamed, cried foul from the rooftops and raised hell from the grassroots up.  The BCS is dead; long live the ... oh, wait.  This ain't a eulogy.  This here is rapture.  College football (almost) has a playoff system.  Hallelujah!!!

And yet, the bastards still got it all wrong somehow.

Four teams.  Four lousy F&$% teams.  That's it?  That's the grand solution?  Four teams isn't a playoff system, it's a dysfunctional oligarchy that is only fractions better than the BCS itself.  Let's say for instance that next year Alabama, LSU, and USC are unequivocally the three top teams in some order.  (Likelihood: 87.3%)  Vying for the fourth spot, say we have undefeated conference champions Oklahoma State, Virginia Tech, and Boise State, a one-fluky-midseason-loss-but-Big-Ten-Champs Wisconsin, and a South Carolina team that steamrolled their schedule and whose only loss was in the SEC Championship game to 'Bama.  Some of those squads probably would not deserve to make it, based on whatever semi-legitimate criteria governed the decision.  Nonetheless, someone(s) with a just and righteous case for inclusion would likely get hosed in the above scenario.  And no, it won't be that crowded at the top most years.  That doesn't mean the "teams getting utterly screwed" angle won't be in play.  So why create a system in which the same old recriminations we've been bandying about for years would still be possible?  In many instances, the argument of the fifth team out will be no less valid simply because now four teams instead of two have the right to vie for the crystal football.  Having only four teams will almost certainly still exclude someone worthy of at least a chance at settling things on the field every year.  We couldn't do better than this while we were "fixing" the problem?

Oh, and we're going to have a committee that ranks and selects these four programs in a supposedly appropriate fashion, you say?  Exactly how will this paragon of objectivity be comprised?  Of people with a deep and intimate knowledge of college football, I'd hope.  But allow me a few suggestions:

1. Absolutely no former Division I coaches.  It seems like every year, there's at least one rumor that percolates about someone making a shady move with the Coaches Poll in order to help their own cause or slight a rival.  You think that loyalty and bad blood just evaporates when these guys retire?  Say they get Bobby Bowden to sit on this committee, for instance.  There is no way in hell that man is ever going to let Florida into a playoff if he can help it.  (Not that Florida is any real title threat for the foreseeable future, but you take my meaning.)  Or suppose Bob Stoops is retired in ten years and they ask him to serve a turn.  You're telling me he's not advocating for the Sooners and torpedoing the Longhorns and Cowboys every chance he gets?  Please.

2. This committee needs fairly substantial, if not complete, rollover every few years.  Otherwise animosities, alliances, fractious arguments, choosing sides, and all the other crap that goes along with any organizing or governing body are going to emerge.  You let people sit in positions of power for too long, they will develop not only delusions of grandeur but biases detrimental to the fairness of the process.  I say two years, tops, for any sitting member.  After that, they must wait six years before sitting another term.

3.  The ranking/seeding/selection probably should not resemble the autocratic juggernaut that is David Stern's control of the NBA Draft Lottery. You are doing a new thing here, so do it correctly: televise the damned process, like they do on C-SPAN.  All the minutiae, the debates and arguments and especially the people making them, ought to be public domain.  Accountability and transparency are the only way to stop the cycle of suspicion and anger and calling bull$%^& that has plagued the sport since time immemorial.

Now, back to the four teams debacle.  Howsabout we make it eight, or better yet sixteen?  (Yes, I am aware that there is a provision in the current proposal that allows for revisiting expansion in a few years, but why wait?)  I wrote a post last year about college football playoffs that was, in retrospect, more than a little overambitious.  By which I mean it was a soapbox rant of impossible logistics and staggering proportions of delusion, for which I am now compelled to apologize.  But buried within the morass of madness are a few concepts that I feel still hold some water.  

Chief among these is the idea that we don't need to divorce ourselves from the bowls entirely, at least not those with the greatest traditional import.  Say we have 16 teams as chosen by the Starbucks Official  NCAA Football Playoff Selection Committee.  We auction off naming rights to the first round, so hypothetically the 1 and 16 seeds could meet in the TicketCity Bowl, 2 and 15 in the Champs Sports Bowl, etc.  For the Elite 8 round, the Outback, Gator, Sugar, and Fiesta Bowls rotate between highest-seed ownership each year.  The Rose and Orange Bowls are the Final Four venues, and the Championship Game is the Championship Game.  That's going to keep Bowl sponsorship revenue coming in, and the bidding for naming rights should at least offset to a degree the "loss" of the other twenty-odd worthless, podunk bowls.  Also, we keep the neutral field intact.  Is there a realistic reason this can't work?  We're already deferring the implementation of this system for another few years, assuming it passes tomorrow.  We can't figure this out in two years' time?

Four teams is a nice start, but it's not a solution.  If we're going to have playoffs, let's make them sensible.  I know it sounds insane to ask sensibility of the NCAA, but this is, after all, the dawning of a new era.  Why not do something radical?